Christ in me

“The secret is Christ in me not me in a different set of circumstances.” – Elisabeth Elliot

I want you to keep this quote in mind as I tell you a little story about myself. When I was about 11 my best friend moved away, and to be quite frank with yall, it ruined all my friendships. I went so far as to shut off social wise. And I spent the next two years wanting friends but also desperately afraid of getting my heart torn apart again. When I was finally ready to have some friends, I looked up in my world and found that there were no girls my age to be friends with! I spent some serious time wrestling with God over this, begging him to give me friends that were girls my age. My family started going to an AWANA program to try and help achieve that, but low and behold when I arrived in my junior high group. I was one of two girls, and that other girl left the next week. So, I faced yet another friendless year.

Someone once said that one of the saddest things you can feel is being lonely in a room full of people. And life went on like that for me until my mom, sister, and older brother and I signed up for a missions trip to Mexico. The people I was going with consisted of – you guessed it. No girls my age. *facepalm* But there was this one girl 2 years younger than me that I kind of knew, and she was the most friendly, loving, amazing person and she was determined that I was going to be her friend. What shocked me most was how trusting she was of me. I have a weird phobia of sleeping in public places, and it wasn’t a full day into our trip when, on an eternal bus ride, in the middle of the night this kid fell asleep right next to me. In fact, I remember her leaning her head on my shoulder. That shook me and I thought ‘You know what? Even though she isn’t my age she is supper cool.’ That one was a keeper, were still close friends to this day despite the “age barrier” that I had put up between us.

The other thing that happened on that car ride was I was playing on my mom's iPad, some word game, I don’t remember what one, but I am a terrible speller. Like awful. I value spell check more than peanut butter and that’s saying something. Well, I’m sitting there on a bus full of sleeping people, spelling my trial and error, and all of the sudden the boy sitting behind me tells me how to spell it. First instinct? Blush. Runaway. hide. fall into a hole. Everyone on the bus was supposed to be sleeping! Who knows how long he had been watching me stumble through words? *facepalm again* I thought “well here it is. I’m not going to make any friends on this trip, “rumors” are going to fly that I can’t spell to save my life.” But It ended up that his friend next to him was awake too, and we put the iPad in between us and played for hours together. (I swear that bus ride was forever.) I made other friends that week too, but those three are still some of my closest friends today. So, what does my little sob story have to do with anything you ask? If we look back to the time I was wrestling with God begging him for a girl my age to be my friend I was also clinging so tightly to that idea that I was missing what he put right in front of me. I had known those three people for several years! I could have spent sooooooooooo much more time with them if I had opened up my eyes to what God had provided for me already. The takeaway?

When we hold on to things besides Jesus, no matter how good they are, we are holding on too tight. Christ is more than ready to work in you and through you, but you have got to let him. If you just say, “Ok Lord work in me.”

And he be like “Ok, become friends with that person.”

“Ohhhh… yeah sorry but I don’t think you read my prayer application. I’m looking for a girl my age to be my friend.”

And he be like back “Ummm… you just asked me to work in you. This is it.”

“No Lord. Like Work in me.” Ever had that convo with Jesus? I have. We ask him to change us and then when he changes us in ways, we weren’t expecting we don’t recognize it and we want different circumstances. I wanted to be more like Jesus, but I didn’t think a worldwide pandemic was the setting for it. I wanted friends but I did not think that friends that weren’t my age or gender were an option.

Jesus is not confined by our circumstances. In fact, he created them. We only have one job to do when we ask Jesus in prayer for something. If we ask according to his will, he will do it and we need to be prepared for it. (1 JOHN 5: 14-15) It is as simple as that. The old saying goes “If we pray for rain, we need to carry an umbrella.” But I would go so far as to say we should also be ready to find a well. If we are walking around with an umbrella staring out on our dying fields unwilling to turn around and find the well he put there, we will go about thinking that God does not answer prayer. So I’ll say it again Jesus is not confined by our circumstances. The secret is not a new setting. The secret is not new people to become friends with. The secret is Christ in us. (PHILIPPIANS 4: 10- 20)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0vfz5lr37g